It's Tough Being Popular

This blog title is just for amusement.  But it does have some truth to it.  As I've mentioned in past blog posts, I have really changed and 'come into myself' since I started dating my boyfriend.  It kept progressing and I just feel so much more like 'me' now!  It is amazing!

The thing is, I lost a lot of my 'friends' when my ex and I broke up.  That was over a year ago but still.  Some of these people, I had been friends with for years!  And yes, they ditched me for my ex.  I've learned that they weren't good friends anyway but it is still hard to have 90% of the people you hung out with just stop talking to you.

So, in my last year of college, I made so many more friends.  People in my class, of course.  A couple of them who seem like friends that I will stay in touch with.  But then my boyfriend and I have made new friends, together!  And it is just incredible!  I am so happy with the friends that I have made.  It is exciting because they invite both of us to places and events - not just him and then I tag along (which happened with my ex ... Maybe I should have noticed the clues then!).  But they invite both of us!  Not just one of us!  I love being included in it.

The other thing is, people like me more.  This may seem a bit odd but I'm always trying to make a good impression and I want everyone to like me and I get super worried (anxious) about this.  But I don't have to put in that much effort.  I can just be myself (the quirky girl that I am) and people generally like me!  With my ex and his friends, it was always hard to make conversation with people, it was always awkward and forced.  Now it all seems so natural!

It is kind of cool now.  I'm always invited to a few parties every weekend.  People are texting me on Friday night being like 'hey are you coming to x event tonight, I'm going, you should come!' and things like that.  I love feeling like I am part of things!  Next weekend, we (my boyfriend and I of course) are invited to the beach, camping, a couple clubs/parties, and a friends place for a get together.  I have never had to decide between so many things before!

It is just making me so happy, to have such great new friends who I can bond with, to have such an amazing boyfriend, and to just really be me!

Door Knobs ... and Canadian Tire

Seriously ... I am unhandy.  I wish I could do those everyday tasks that everyone can do so flawlessly.  But it just boggles my mind.

As you may know, I just moved into my new place about a month ago.  Anyway, there wasn't a lock on the door which I kind of like to have.  I was away last weekend, just shut my door, and I came back and the cat had gotten into my room while I was away.  And I have a hamster in my room.  That is NOT what I want to happen!  (By the way, the hamster is still alive!)  For that (and many other privacy issues), I want a lock on my door.

I went to Canadian Tire today and purchased a door knob lock thing and some screwdrivers (I got a big package ... they would have come in handy previously so I might as well have some!).  Brought them home.  I took the door knob off and tried to put the new one on.  It didn't work.  And I can't very well make a bigger hole.  I'm only renting the place!

So I brought the purchased door knob back and returned it.  I also brought the door knob that was on my door into the store and asked them for help.  The salesperson showed me the right door knob lock thing to get so I got it.

I got home and tried to put it on and guess what ... it didn't work!!!!!!  Now I'm kind of annoyed because it takes 30-40 minutes to get to Canadian Tire and then another 30-40 minutes to get back.  And it was a waste of time.  I showed the guy my door knob and everything and he still couldn't help me.

Now what do I do?  I have to wait for tomorrow to take it back.  I'm going to look like an idiot returning a second door knob.  I hope that the same person isn't at exchanges and returns!  This means another hour to hour and a half wasted.  Ugh!  I am NOT asking for a lock though.  They obviously won't be much help.

Also, I'm not going to Canadian Tire again!  I have honestly never really shopped there before.  But when I show the person my door knob and everything and he still can't help me!  That just proves what an idiot he is.  He could have gotten someone else to help me or something if he didn't know!  But no he just wants to give me wrong information.  Drives me crazy!

I might take a chance with Home Hardware tomorrow.  We'll see.  I have one that is close to my house so that's better than nothing.  At least I'll get more exercise tomorrow!

How Do You Stand Up To A Friend?

My friend, lets call him John, is sharing an apartment with his friend Tom.  John kind of "takes care" of the house.  Initiates rules (buy your own food, clean up after yourself, etc.), looks after Internet, etc.  Likely because John has lived on his own for a number of years and Tom has just started living on his own (please note, John is 21 and Tom is 24 I believe).

Tom does not really understand personal space.  Yes, they are friends, but John does not want or need to hear about Tom's entire day.  When Tom gets home from work, he will just wander into John's room and talk about his day while John is in the middle of something.  Tom seems to think this is okay.  John doesn't really like it (I wouldn't either so I can see where he's coming from).  Tom is also always wanting to hang out with John.  Asking him to see a movie, go out for dinner, stuff like that.  He doesn't seem to understand that John has a life and work he needs to do.

Tom also expects John to drive him around everywhere.  John has his own car, Tom doesn't (he uses the bus).  Is John expected to drive Tom around everywhere?  I definitely don't think so!  Tom doesn't pay gas, insurance, or for repairs.  So why should John have to pick up Tom for work?  Tom seems to think this is reasonable.

Tom is getting paid more than John right now.  But he spends his money on eating out, girls, alcohol, etc.  Which is fine.  But he doesn't pay John back for things.  Tom eats John's food?  John doesn't get anything in return, even though he bought it.  John got the Internet, but does Tom ever pay him back for it?  Nope.

Now, John is coming to me about this.  I'm frustrated with Tom (I know them both but I know John a lot better).  John isn't great with confrontation.  He is annoyed with Tom but hasn't made many attempts to fix this.  He has asked for Internet money a couple of times, but Tom just says he doesn't have money.  (Good excuse?  No!  He shouldn't be using Internet if he can't pay for it.)

I don't know what advice to give to John.  I say, just confront Tom.  But he can't just outright do that.  He doesn't know the words.  And doesn't know how to not sound like a jerk for it.  I'm kind of just venting for this.  I don't understand how Tom can think this is all okay.  I guess I could use some advice for John?

Potluck Suggestions

How many times have you been invited to a potluck?  I know a lot of people can't cook or bake and getting invited to a potluck is not what you want to do!  You get people saying they will bring the fanciest items ... you probably haven't heard of them!  To be honest, I love cooking and baking, but I have some suggestions for those of you who don't!

1. Mini sandwiches
It's something everyone will enjoy!  Get some bread, meat, cheese, lettuce, etc. and put together a nice platter of mini sandwiches!  My advice is to have three or four types of sandwiches.  The ones I would recommend are: a) egg salad b) ham and cheese c) roast beef d) tuna.  Almost everyone will be able to find something out of those four.  You can mix it up with white bread or whole wheat bread.  Add butter or mayo or lettuce or mustard to some of them.  And always put it on a nice platter and decorate the platter with lettuce and/or carrots.

2. Fruit and veggie platter
It is pretty simple to purchase some fruits and veggies and do a platter of each.  Remember to get dipping sauce!  To be honest, I'm not a fan of dipping sauce, but most people are!  Suggestions for fruits are to get FOUR of them.  My ideas: grapes, some sort of melon, strawberries, and another fruit such as apples, oranges, plums, peaches, kiwis, pineapples.  If you are not serving right away, either don't cut up all the fruit or dip the cut up fruit in lemon juice diluted in water.  This will help them not turn brown.  As for veggies, four of those is good as well.  My ideas: carrots, celery, peppers, broccoli, mushrooms, or radishes.

3. Lasagna
This involves a bit of cooking but it is not too difficult!  It is a very basic lasagna recipe though.  You will need to purchase 1 can of spaghetti sauce (I would recommend a kind with beef already in it, such as Ragu with beef), a block of cheese, and precooked lasagna noodles.
To Prepare:
Heat oven to 350 degrees Celsius
Grate all the cheese (If you have two different types of cheese, do half and half!)
In a lasagna tray, put the ingredients in it in this order
- grease the tray (with butter or something like PAM)
- spaghetti sauce
Then rotate through these three ingredients in the following order
- noodles
- sauce
- cheese
Make sure cheese is the top layer
Cover with tinfoil and cook on 350 degrees Celsius for 50 minutes - 1 hour (check on it every 15 minutes though if it's your first time!)
It is surprisingly easy.  If you want to make twice as much, just get twice the amount of ingredients!
Store in the fridge if you are not serving right away.  And make sure you can warm it up before you serve it!

4. Salad
There are tons of basic salads you can do.  Caesar salad, garden salad.  Those are the two easiest one I can think of.  If you don't know how to make a salad, there are tons of recipes for it online!  It depends what type you want.  But Caesar and garden are always good.  There are fancier salads (like Jelly salad or marshmallow salad) that usually go over well but they are more complicated to make.

5. Potato Skins
This is another one where you will need to warm it up beforehand.
All you need is: Potatoes (one potato will make two potato skins), cheese (a couple different types is good, grated), Parmesan cheese, bacon, a tomato, onions, salt and pepper
Preheat the oven to 450degrees Celsius.  Clean the potatoes or make sure they are clean!  Poke holes (with a fork) in each of the potatoes.  I would say poke it about six times throughout the potato.  Put it in the microwave for five minutes.  Wait for it to cool a little bit, then cut them in half with a sharp knife.  Use a spoon and dig out the insides so you have a hole in the middle.
In the whole, you will put a layer of cheese, some bacon (cut up into small pieces), onions (if you'd like, not everyone likes onions), and tomatoes.  Sprinkle on some Parmesan cheese, salt, and pepper.  Then add another layer of cheese (it will melt a lot ... feel free to let the cheese go out of the middle and spread around the top of the potato).  The more toppings, the better it will taste!  Then put them in the over at 450 degrees Celsius for 5 - 10 minutes (Check on them at 5 minutes and keep an eye on them after).  It will be done when the cheese is melted.
They can be stored for two to three days in the fridge!

Have fun at your potluck!

Who Is Important To You?

Most people have friends, family, and/or acquaintances.  You care about some of them, of course.  Great.

Now think more deeply.  How many would you consider true friends?  Probably not quite as many.  If you have Facebook - how many of those are real friends?  If you're like me, I have almost 200 Facebook friends.  I've known them all at some point, yes.  But I've grown apart from most of them and wouldn't consider them real friends.

When I think about the number of real friends I can, it is kind of frightening.  The people who I talk to regularly and care about the most - probably only two people.  My boyfriend and my sister.  I talk to them at least every other day (well communicate - I don't live in the same city as either of them so there is plenty of emailing and texting going on).  But it is really only those two who I talk to a lot.

I have two high school friends who I keep in contact with quite a bit.  But sometimes we will stop talking for months at a time.  And they often break plans.  So even though they are friends, they aren't really 'best friends' if you think about it.  I met someone else about six months ago.  We started talking almost nonstop.  She was awesome!  But the, things happen, we drift apart.  And I haven't talked to her much in the past month.

I think it is really important to treasure who you have.  Even if there aren't many people who you consider very good friends.  Make sure they know it!  Make sure they know that they mean a lot to you!

Make sure that you know who is really important to you.

May 2011's Best Songs

1. Black Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough
The Black Eyed Peas never fail to come out with a good song, do they?  I love the lyrics.  They are meaningful.  Even though my music tastes have definitely changed, I will always be a Black Eyed Peas fan.  I love how the sound and beat switches it up to keep the song interesting.

2. Chromeo ft. La Roux - Hot Mess
The first time I heard this song, I wasn't really a fan.  But then it got really catchy.  Now I have to move to it every time!  It has a unique sound to it.

3. Tom Novy feat. Michael Marshall - Your Body
Definitely one of those "get up and dance" songs!  Great for partying, clubbing, dancing, and having a great time.  Every time this song comes on my playlist, I'm dancing around the room like a maniac.  The lyrics are awesome too.  There are some different remixes of this song around but my personal favourite is the Alex Kenji remix.

4. Kristina Maria - Let's Play
I heard this song numerous times and always thought "wow".  I finally was able to look it up and have now been listening to it nonstop.  Her voice is amazing.  The lyrics are seductive.  And the music is amazing.  I love the chorus.  Again, this isn't really the type of music I have been listening to lately but this song is just too catchy!

5. Studio Apartment feat. Rae - Your Words
I just close my eyes and move to this song.  I love the music in this song.  It seriously makes my skin tingle.  Oddly enough, I can't listen to this song on repeat.  There are plenty of remixes of this song too.  I love the ones that make it more into a house song.  Either way, the song is incredible.

Subways

I'm talking about the mode of transportation, the subway.

A couple weeks ago, I moved to an area where there is a subway.  There are some amazing things about the subway.  For one, it is incredibly fast!  No stopping every two seconds like on a bus!  I love that part of it!  It is really easy to use too, once you get a hang of it.

I had my first 'real' subway experience last weekend.  It was ... well ... interesting!

There were these two people who looked like a couple waiting for the subway.  Cool.  They got on the subway at the same time.  Then they sit in two completely different spots!  There were quite a few seats together that were available but they sat as far apart as possible!  So I figured, okay, they must have just gotten on at the same time.  But then they get off at the same time and walk next to each other all the way out!

The next group of three people was probably high school age - two guys and a girl.  One guy looked like a nerd.  The other guy looked like a stoner.  And the girl looked like a party animal tough girl.  (I know, I shouldn't judge by looks, but that was my first impression!).  So they get on the bus and sit together.  And the three of them are talking as loud as they possibly can while eating pop tarts (which happens to be the only thing they have with them).

I heard a funny story from a friend's friend about the subway.  I guess he was on the subway when there was a guy, across from him, holding a bag.  Okay, people hold bags, not a big deal.  Then the bag started meowing!!!!  Oh wow!!!  I'm definitely against animal cruelty but you've really got to wonder what was going on!

The last interaction I saw was this young woman (mid 20s I would say) stand up to get off the subway.  The older guy (late 40s I'd say) stood up as well.  The lady seemed surprised and was like 'oh are you getting off here too?' And he just smiled (relatively creepily) and said 'no, just wanted to say bye to you.'. So she was awkwardly like 'bye' and he gives her a kiss on the cheek!  I felt so sorry for her!  That guy just seemed really, really creepy!

All in all, the subway is great for transportation and amusement!

Losing Your Friends

Have you ever just kind of drifted apart from your friends?  I have been lately, in the past few months.  I mean, I have changed a bit, but they just haven't accepted me.  I feel like I've grown up a lot and they haven't.

In high school, there were four of us that hung out like all the time.  The guy in the group kind of ditched us after high school, but no big deal.  Then there were the three of us and we were still pretty close during our first year of university even though we didn't see each other much.  They were really supportive of me when I was having a tough time that year.

After that year, I switched to college.  Since then, my relationship with them has been really downhill.  I don't think they like that I went to college (since university is considered the "smarter" of the two).  But I'm still smart.  I mean, I'm the top of my class here at college.  But I think they didn't really like that I switched (even though I hated and was horrible at my program at university).

Then I broke up with my boyfriend of almost three years.  Then I slept with another guy.  They both like guys and everything but they have never really had serious relationships or anything before (and defintely never had sex).  They thought I was just using this guy to get over my ex.  Honestly he was just using me for sex at first too!  But it ended up going well and I've been dating this guy for over a year.  The point is, they just judge me for this.  Maybe sex is a big deal for them.  It's different for me.  Like it is important but I'm not just going to wait for years or something.  That's not me.

They also seemed upset when I started partying a bit more.  The thing is, I'm maintaining friends at college, I'm at the top of my class, I'm working three part time jobs, and I've got a great boyfriend.  Everything else is going well.  So what if I go out and party every other weekend?  What else should I do?  I could study but I can't do much better than I'm doing now anyway.  And even if I wasn't partying over the weekend, I certainly wouldn't be studying!

I get it, friends drift apart.  But I just don't get why the two of them are just judging me so much.  We were best friends for years.  We supported each other.  We had fun together.  All good!

I guess things change.  I have new friends.  They have new friends.  I keep some old friends of course.  I'm not sure when it's time to move on from them though.

How To Get A Date

This is something that many people find difficult.  Now, I'm aiming this at young adults.  College aged, mostly.  But you can use some of these methods if you are in high school or college graduates.  So here are some basic tips to getting a date.

1. Be confident.  If you don't think you're any good, it makes it a lot harder for you to find someone.
2. Just ask him/her out.  He or she is probably scared to ask you out.  So if you go for it, it might actually work!  You have to just go for it!
3. Do not obsess over one girl or guy if you aren't with her or him.  This just makes you seem desperate.  There are other people out there too!
4. Go out, meet people, have fun.  Do not stay at home and do nothing.  Do something!  Anything!  It will make you more interesting.
5. Nothing to talk about?  See #4.
6. Keep yourself healthy.  Eat healthy and exercise.  You don't have to be a body builder or personal trainer or anything, but being healthy is attractive.
7. Have your own interests.  You will always have stories to tell and things to talk about.
8. Don't be mean.  Making fun of people or anything else is not the way to get a girlfriend or boyfriend.  Being nice and respectful IS the way!
9. Go for a kiss!  Even if he or she isn't ready, at least he or she will know what your intentions are!  If you play along as "just a friend" for too long, he or she could just move on.
10. If he or she has told you he or she doesn't like you, move on.  There are tons of other people out there.  So if you have been rejected, find someone else!

PLUR

PLUR - what is it?  What does it even stand for?  PLUR stands for Peace, Love, Unity, Respect.  It's the motto of ravers.  I think it should be the motto of everyone.  The motto of life.

Ever since I heard of PLUR, that's how I've been living my life.

What is peace?  Peace is when there is no fighting, no arguments, and no hostilities.  It is when people are together in harmony.  It is a lovely feeling, to be at peace.

What is love?  Love is a very strong feeling or emotion.  It is an extreme liking feeling.  It can be used as a term of endearment.  It is a great affection for someone or something.  It is an amazing feeling, to love someone, and to be loved.

What is unity?  It is being one, being completed, being together.  Unity is being united into one.  It is when you are not out for yourself, but everyone.  It is not being selfish.  It is being thoughtful and thinking of everyone.  If you are in unity with someone else, you care about his or her well being.  Being in unity as a group is caring about everyone's well being and making sure that everyone is happy and satisfied.

What is respect?  It is a positive feeling towards someone else.  It is being honest and positive towards someone.  It is regarding someone else highly or as an equal person.  It isn't thinking of someone else as "worse" than yourself.  It is courtesy.  Being respectful means being polite.  Being respected is being honoured.

Why are these things so important?

Who doesn't like being loved and respected?  Who wants to stop living selfishly and with constant fights?  You need to give out PLUR to get it.  If you don't love and respect others, if you aren't peaceful and in unity, then how can you expect it back?  If you want to start this, you have to start it with yourself.  And then show others what PLUR is.  You don't have to be a raver to know what PLUR is or to act on it.  Anyone can!  And why not start it off with you?

Happy One Year!

Just wanted to say ... as of today ... my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year!  And, I can truly say, it has been the best year of my life.  I have never been happier.  I have been able to grow a lot more with him.  I feel so much more like "myself".  It isn't just because of him, but he has given me lots to think about.  I'm going to write a better post on this later!  But yay - one year! :)

Earning Less Money Than Your Partner

Do you earn more or less money than your partner?  Are you married, serious relationship, or starting to date?  My boyfriend and I are in a pretty serious relationship - we have been together for about a year.  I've just finished college so I don't have a full time job yet.  He is on co-op at college though so he's making quite a bit more than me right now.  During the school year, he was doing full time co-op and I was working two part time jobs making minimum wage.  So, really, he's always made more than me while we've been dating.

Sometimes it does make me feel a bit insecure.  I don't want to be with him just for his money (okay, I'm obviously not).  But I feel bad when he is the one often paying for dates and stuff.  I do try to still pay for dates on occasion, but he definitely does more often.  For me, I try to do little things that don't cost money that kind of make up for it.  But I still feel bad when he is paying for most things.

But he will be done co-op and back in school in September.  As long as things go well, I will be paying for more starting then.  We are both still students so our salaries will fluctuate quite a bit until we get settled.

I feel like even if we got married and everything and he earned more than me, I wouldn't feel too bad.  I would help more with cooking and cleaning if he had more income.  But if we were working the same amount of hours then I'd expect him to do some of that too!  It also might depend on the difference.  If he's making $5,000 more than me a year, that is different than making like $40,000 more than me a year.  But still ... hmmm!

I just read about this on a forum that I frequent, I thought it seemed interesting.  I don't feel too insecure about it now but I guess a lot of people do!  Tell me what you think about this.