I think I try too hard to get my family to like me, or at least approve of me. I have no problems with friends or other people. You don't like me? Oh well, it's all good, I will find someone who does.
But with my family, it is different. I am the oldest of two daughters. My sister is obviously the favourite. She's successful in sports, something that I've never been good at. She's smart (academically) but I was too. I'm actually a lot smarter than her for the most part. (Not to brag but I'm a 90 student and she's an 80 student.) But I also worked hard and it paid off.
I've also always had more mature friends. In high school, I hung out with the smarter kids. It was nice because we could talk on the same level and stuff. And we understood that getting an 80 on an assignment was disappointing! But we did other things too. We had campfires, pool parties, slumber parties, move nights, etc. We would talk about boys and play goofy games. Now, my friends are mature in a different way. Common interests and same feelings on life. I'm only 20 years old but most of my friends are at least a couple years older. My sister, on the other hand, hangs around with a group of immature and weird girls. They don't date, I don't think any of them have kissed a guy. And they just do immature things and insult everyone. It is just immature and annoying! Yet my parents hate the idea of my friends (they haven't even met them) and love my sister's friends!
My parents seem to hate my way of life. They insult me and my life at any chance they get. I think that being loving and trusting is the way to be. I trust everyone, I love people, and I try to be the best person I can be. I want others to be happy, not just myself. They just make fun of me for that and I'm not sure why. I guess they like my sister's mean and negative attitude.
I am always trying to 'earn their approval'. I try and impress them by making dinner. I show them cute pictures of my hamster. I tell them about my successes. But it doesn't really phase them. It still seems like I'm not good enough.
I try my best at everything, I always want to be the best, I'm scared of not being the best! I think it kind of boils down to trying so hard to get my family's approval.
But with my family, it is different. I am the oldest of two daughters. My sister is obviously the favourite. She's successful in sports, something that I've never been good at. She's smart (academically) but I was too. I'm actually a lot smarter than her for the most part. (Not to brag but I'm a 90 student and she's an 80 student.) But I also worked hard and it paid off.
I've also always had more mature friends. In high school, I hung out with the smarter kids. It was nice because we could talk on the same level and stuff. And we understood that getting an 80 on an assignment was disappointing! But we did other things too. We had campfires, pool parties, slumber parties, move nights, etc. We would talk about boys and play goofy games. Now, my friends are mature in a different way. Common interests and same feelings on life. I'm only 20 years old but most of my friends are at least a couple years older. My sister, on the other hand, hangs around with a group of immature and weird girls. They don't date, I don't think any of them have kissed a guy. And they just do immature things and insult everyone. It is just immature and annoying! Yet my parents hate the idea of my friends (they haven't even met them) and love my sister's friends!
My parents seem to hate my way of life. They insult me and my life at any chance they get. I think that being loving and trusting is the way to be. I trust everyone, I love people, and I try to be the best person I can be. I want others to be happy, not just myself. They just make fun of me for that and I'm not sure why. I guess they like my sister's mean and negative attitude.
I am always trying to 'earn their approval'. I try and impress them by making dinner. I show them cute pictures of my hamster. I tell them about my successes. But it doesn't really phase them. It still seems like I'm not good enough.
I try my best at everything, I always want to be the best, I'm scared of not being the best! I think it kind of boils down to trying so hard to get my family's approval.
Hmm I can totally understand what your saying. I still seek my parents approval at 36 and I still feel like I am letting them down. Although they have never said that, it's just the path my life has taken is not what they had wanted.
ReplyDeleteNow as a parent myself to a 16 year old, 8 year old and 7 year old. I will let you know something. I love my kids in very different ways. I think they look at it like I have favorites too. And I really do not. My older son is usually the dependent one that I do not have to worry about doing the right thing, my younger son not so much. So When my younger son does something good then I get excited but maybe I fail to express to my older son that he's awesome too that I don't have to worry about him as much. I think most parents are guilty of doing this and we don't mean to..... So maybe since you are older and you do so well in school and life then they don't have to worry over you as much. And so they may not talk to you as much about how they appreciate that. As far as comments your parents make, I am not sure on that. Unless they think you should hang with kids your age and that's their way of expressing it.
I just wanted to make you feel better that you are probably a wonderful child to them and they just don't have to worry about you. So maybe your doing an awesome job, keep it up!
Thanks Dominique! I try to be the best person I can be, sometimes it doesn't seem like enough. I wish I could get more compliments and stuff out of them. When they come to visit me, I always make sure my house is incredibly tidy, I always have like baked cookies, maybe some snacks out, ready for them, everything like that. Then I hear something from my dad "hmm, the bathroom isn't swept" or something ... like ughh I just forget ... it can't be perfect! :p I mean, I know they love me (hey, they come to visit me!) but still, the negative actions still speak pretty loudly :p
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