How To Ride An Escalator

There are basic escalator rules that people should follow.  Always!  Not just sometimes ... Always!

1. If you are standing on the escalator, you stand to the right.
2. If you are walking up/down the escalator, you walk to the left.
3. You do not back up on the escalator.
4. You get off the escalator as efficiently as possible.
5. You walk away as soon as you are off the escalator (no standing at the top/bottom, there are people behind you!).

I don't understand how people cannot follow these rules!  Yes, most people do!  But then you get the annoying guy who is chilling out on the left side blocking everyone's way.  And that girl who is talking on her phone who just stops when she gets to the top of the escalator and people have to push and shove to get around her.

Basic escalator rules are all just common courtesy.

Help escalators run more efficiently!!

Being Confident

I guess I like to say I'm confident.  But I'm not really.  I get nervous in front of almost everyone.  I am scared to stand up for myself.  I never think that I "deserve" things or even have "earned" things.  Mostly I'm just talking about work and social situations.  But those are two really important things.

I just won't put myself out there.  I never have, I hope I will be able to sometimes.  I'm just scared to really say what I think.  I don't want to offend people.  So I have to overthink whatever I want to say.  And by the time I have prepared a sentence of some sort, the conversation is over and I haven't participated.  The most I really do in conversations is laugh or say "hmmm" or "cool" or "that sucks" or "yeahhh okay".  Absolutely nothing of value.

Two person conversations are not much better!  I completely miss "implied" things in conversations, mostly jokes.  It is always so awkward when the other person is laughing and I'm wondering what's going on.  Then I think about what was said and get it, but then it makes me look slow!

I plan conversations in my head before I have them.  If I have to talk to someone (at work, at a party, at the store, anywhere), I have to think out all possible scenarios before I can say anything.  And if they surprise me by saying something completely different - uh oh!!  I have had way too many imaginary conversations.

And with the whole work thing ... I had the opportunity to apply for an amazing position.  Did I do it?  No, I was too scared to.  It would have been perfect for me, exactly what I wanted!!  But I just couldn't do it!  Now I'm feeling terrible because another opportunity like that may not come around for a few years.  Maybe more.

I guess this is more of a rant thing.  I really need to get this under control, but I'm scared to start!

I should probably take things step by step.  And I have to actually try.  Instead of just hiding and pretending this issue doesn't exist.

It's Tough Being Popular

This blog title is just for amusement.  But it does have some truth to it.  As I've mentioned in past blog posts, I have really changed and 'come into myself' since I started dating my boyfriend.  It kept progressing and I just feel so much more like 'me' now!  It is amazing!

The thing is, I lost a lot of my 'friends' when my ex and I broke up.  That was over a year ago but still.  Some of these people, I had been friends with for years!  And yes, they ditched me for my ex.  I've learned that they weren't good friends anyway but it is still hard to have 90% of the people you hung out with just stop talking to you.

So, in my last year of college, I made so many more friends.  People in my class, of course.  A couple of them who seem like friends that I will stay in touch with.  But then my boyfriend and I have made new friends, together!  And it is just incredible!  I am so happy with the friends that I have made.  It is exciting because they invite both of us to places and events - not just him and then I tag along (which happened with my ex ... Maybe I should have noticed the clues then!).  But they invite both of us!  Not just one of us!  I love being included in it.

The other thing is, people like me more.  This may seem a bit odd but I'm always trying to make a good impression and I want everyone to like me and I get super worried (anxious) about this.  But I don't have to put in that much effort.  I can just be myself (the quirky girl that I am) and people generally like me!  With my ex and his friends, it was always hard to make conversation with people, it was always awkward and forced.  Now it all seems so natural!

It is kind of cool now.  I'm always invited to a few parties every weekend.  People are texting me on Friday night being like 'hey are you coming to x event tonight, I'm going, you should come!' and things like that.  I love feeling like I am part of things!  Next weekend, we (my boyfriend and I of course) are invited to the beach, camping, a couple clubs/parties, and a friends place for a get together.  I have never had to decide between so many things before!

It is just making me so happy, to have such great new friends who I can bond with, to have such an amazing boyfriend, and to just really be me!

Subways

I'm talking about the mode of transportation, the subway.

A couple weeks ago, I moved to an area where there is a subway.  There are some amazing things about the subway.  For one, it is incredibly fast!  No stopping every two seconds like on a bus!  I love that part of it!  It is really easy to use too, once you get a hang of it.

I had my first 'real' subway experience last weekend.  It was ... well ... interesting!

There were these two people who looked like a couple waiting for the subway.  Cool.  They got on the subway at the same time.  Then they sit in two completely different spots!  There were quite a few seats together that were available but they sat as far apart as possible!  So I figured, okay, they must have just gotten on at the same time.  But then they get off at the same time and walk next to each other all the way out!

The next group of three people was probably high school age - two guys and a girl.  One guy looked like a nerd.  The other guy looked like a stoner.  And the girl looked like a party animal tough girl.  (I know, I shouldn't judge by looks, but that was my first impression!).  So they get on the bus and sit together.  And the three of them are talking as loud as they possibly can while eating pop tarts (which happens to be the only thing they have with them).

I heard a funny story from a friend's friend about the subway.  I guess he was on the subway when there was a guy, across from him, holding a bag.  Okay, people hold bags, not a big deal.  Then the bag started meowing!!!!  Oh wow!!!  I'm definitely against animal cruelty but you've really got to wonder what was going on!

The last interaction I saw was this young woman (mid 20s I would say) stand up to get off the subway.  The older guy (late 40s I'd say) stood up as well.  The lady seemed surprised and was like 'oh are you getting off here too?' And he just smiled (relatively creepily) and said 'no, just wanted to say bye to you.'. So she was awkwardly like 'bye' and he gives her a kiss on the cheek!  I felt so sorry for her!  That guy just seemed really, really creepy!

All in all, the subway is great for transportation and amusement!

What Are You Living For?

Really, what is your purpose? Why are you here? I know, difficult questions.
I have absolutely no clue why I’m here. What good am I supposed to do with my life? I’m not exactly powerful or influential or anything. I’m just me, a regular young adult who doesn’t know what the reason for her existence is.

I would like to find out. But how do you even do that? I really, really wish that I had a passion for something. Then maybe I’d feel more together with my life. Instead of how I am now.

It’s just … I should have a goal. I feel like I’m lost or something. I need someone to lead me. I want to know what I should accomplish.

How can I help people? How can I do something? I don’t know how. But I want to know. I want someone to tell me!

The Breach of Confidentiality

The reason for this post? I feel very violated due to something that someone very close to me did. It wasn't just a friend though. It was my own mother. It wasn't just anyone she talked to, but a police officer.

I'm not a bad person. I've made some mistakes in the past. Maybe pretty bad mistakes. I can't say what it is on here but it's something that I have fixed (made right) and also something that really only hurts me. It doesn't affect anyone else. It's not something terrible like murder or theft or anything like that - so don't think I'm a bad person!

I got really worried and scared one night so I called my mom, just because I needed to get it out. I felt a lot better about it after I told her and I made sure she knew that I was in the process of solving the problem.

Nothing stopped her from talking to the police about it though. The police can't charge me (thank goodness). But, if things go wrong, they could in the future. I have to be insanely carefeul now to make sure I don't do anything close to that again. I thought that my own mother would at least respect my privacy. Maybe even help me through this. No. She tells the police. I don't know if she wants me scared or in trouble. She definitely got me scared, but I'm not in trouble. I can't believe she would do this to me though. I thought we were close. She told me that I could always call her if I was scared or needed any help or anything. That is why I called her at that moment. But I certainly won't anymore.

Bottom line, be careful who you talk to, you never know who could turn on you.

My Favourite Class

Have you ever had a class where you just wonder why? Why are you there? Why is it necessary? Particularly 8 a.m. classes ... perhaps you know I have an 8 a.m. class that I'm just not fond of ... thus the sarcastic title.

I went to class earlier today and we learned about English. Not bad, except it wasn't English class, it was a completely different class! The even more annoying thing is tha tI know this stuff already. It is stuff that I learned in high school, years ago. Totally unimportant. I have yet to figure out why my professor was talking about it for that dreaded hour of class. Why was I there?

There are often classes like this. I actually have two of them which is very annoying. Sometimes I just feel like I'm ahead of everything and everyone here. I mean, the people here are great, but I feel different. I am way too excited to graduate in five and a half months.

I don't really have any advice for those in a similar situation. Stick it out? I don't know. I just try and keep myself busy. I write (hey, when do you think I have time to write my blogs?). I do other homework. And, most of the time, I just daydream ... and, for those 8 a.m. classes, wish I was asleep!

For those of you with classes like this, just stick it out ... and look forward to the end. It's there!

Lazy Kids

Are kids really lazy nowadays?? I don't think all kids are. How ageist to say such a thing.

I heard these three older people (two men and one woman) on the bus complaining about how lazy young people are. I was sitting near them on my way to a friends to pack boxes for Operation Christmas Child after a long day of work and studying. Really ... I was being lazy?? Who do they think they are talkng about? I'm sure they were referring to me as they kept looking at me and I do look fairly young for my age.

What a stereotype. I'm sure I'll have more to say about this when something else comes up. We aren't all lazy, just like all old people aren't smart. Is that a stereotypical thing to say?

I just really hate it when people make stereotypes. People in general. I know that I get stereotyped sometimes. But it drives me crazy. I don't consider myself lazy at all. I'm a full time college student who has a ridiculous amount of homework (and who still manages to be the top student). I'm working two part time jobs at my college and another job outside of that. I don't volunteer a lot but I give money when I can. I try to be a good person and all that. I hate being judged though.

Younger people get judged even more. Especially high school students. I'm sure that, if someone looks at my younger sister, they would stereotype her as a normal high school girl who goes out and parties and drinks all the time. First off, this is untrue. She prides herself in doing well in school. She has two jobs and she volunteers at a senior citizen home. She also plays competitive sports and other team sports. She does enjoy hanging out with her friends in her free time though. And besides, is it bad to go out and party on the weekends if you have the time and can afford it? I would say not. But that is a different topic, really.

The point is ... not all young people are lazy. Sure, there are some. But those people will likely grow up and still be lazy. It's not a trait of young people. It's a trait of certain people in general.

Think before you stereotype!