I used to be so insecure about myself. If I was at home by myself, I'd think I was uncool and I should be with friends, like at a party or something. Or I'd be self conscious about what I was wearing. Maybe I should be showing more, or less ... either way. But it is all the same thing, being insecure, self conscious, whatever.
It finally changed when I moved into the city. Finally I had options. I had things to do all the time. I could go out whenever I wanted. Tuesday night? Wednesday night? It doesn't matter, there is something I could be doing! And now, even if I don't necessarily have someone to go with (say friends are away, boyfriend isn't around, whatever), I can still do something and I don't feel like a loser so much!
Now I feel comfortable turning down invitations instead of thinking 'this might be the only thing I can go to'. Because there will be many more opportunities.
In fact, I'm finally comfortable staying home on a Friday night - by myself! If I'm too tired or something, why can't I just stay home, watch a movie, relax, and go to bed early? If for some reason I feel like going out, I can always just head out whenever, the buses and subway run forever, parties run forever!
I'm just so happy that I don't have to try and impress people by going out. I can just do what I want to do and I don't have to worry about others judging me. I can simply enjoy myself because I am secure with myself!
It finally changed when I moved into the city. Finally I had options. I had things to do all the time. I could go out whenever I wanted. Tuesday night? Wednesday night? It doesn't matter, there is something I could be doing! And now, even if I don't necessarily have someone to go with (say friends are away, boyfriend isn't around, whatever), I can still do something and I don't feel like a loser so much!
Now I feel comfortable turning down invitations instead of thinking 'this might be the only thing I can go to'. Because there will be many more opportunities.
In fact, I'm finally comfortable staying home on a Friday night - by myself! If I'm too tired or something, why can't I just stay home, watch a movie, relax, and go to bed early? If for some reason I feel like going out, I can always just head out whenever, the buses and subway run forever, parties run forever!
I'm just so happy that I don't have to try and impress people by going out. I can just do what I want to do and I don't have to worry about others judging me. I can simply enjoy myself because I am secure with myself!
Reading your perspective is interesting! I used to have a girlfriend that loved going out to the clubs, she got all the attention. She got drinks paid for by men, I just was along for the so called fun. I really didn't enjoy it but I did it for most of my 20's. She's now in her late 30's and married still trying to do that, I no longer talk much with her. Once I got married I quit that scene. And now I love staying home and reading my book or watching movies and being with the kids. Funny how that changes. How was the birthday?
ReplyDeleteThanks! Yeah, you've gotta do what you enjoy doing! I definitely enjoy going out but I don't feel like I have to go out all the time. I'm fine just hanging out by myself or with a couple of friends, whatever! :) And my birthday was wonderful! I got to hang out with my boyfriend and friends and I even got to see my family! :)
ReplyDeleteIts really great to know that not everyone out there feels so insecure about themselves! :) I admit, I am not completely secure about myself so I admire you for being so confident. Keep it up, its really great to be confident and I hope someday I'll be able to do the same thing :)
ReplyDeleteAh, I know you will eventually! I used to be insecure, scared of everything, always trying to be someone I'm not. It's great to be comfortable in your own skin! It's also good to be able to admit that you aren't there completely. You'll get there :)
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