Have you found your Prince Charming? Are you still looking for your Prince Charming? Do you believe in finding your Prince Charming? (Or Princess Charming ... but, for this post, I'm going to just say Prince Charming, to make it easier.)
Everyone has different views on this mysterious "Prince Charming". Does he exist? Is there just one? Are there three or four out there for you? What if you don't find him? What if he's on the other side of the world? What if something happens to him? What if you lose contact with him?
One of my closest friends has been searching for years for someone who is right for her. She is religious and the type of person who is waiting for "the one" before sex. Which is great for her. But the problem is, she is always looking for this guy. Never just letting it go. She is out with a different guy each day of the week. She falls in love with each one and then gets upset if something happens. Once she finally dates a guy, she is obsessive. Thinks about marrying the guy. And then, within a couple months, that guy does something that makes him not be "the one" and she breaks up with him. In my opinion, she's looking too hard and has high expectations. She's a great person for sure. But she has impossibly high standards. And she is obsessive with each guy that she thinks could possibly be the one. For her, I thinks he just needs to take it slow. When she meets a cute guy, she doesn't need to immediately go through her checklist and see if he could be her Prince Charming.
Now, let's talk about another of my closest friends. She is the complete opposite. I don't think she's ever been on a real date. She doesn't put any effort into it. She get upset that she never has a date but it's because she doesn't try at all. She never really "dresses up" or anything. Face it, wearing sweatpants and baggy sweaters isn't exactly the way to get noticed. Going out of your way doesn't have to happen all the time either. But there is a happy medium. Nice jeans, a cute top, a bit of make up, it can go a long way. But this girl just doesn't do any of that. She expects a guy to come to her. How does she expect to meet a guy like that? She doesn't meet guys or talk to guys. She doesn't do anything to find a guy. She thinks her Prince Charming is just going to magically appear. Chances of that happening? In my opinion, very slim.
Let's have another example. I have a guy friend who has never really had a girlfriend before. He is so shy. He, like the second girl I mentioned, thinks that this girl is just going to come flying out at him. Bam - she will just be there. I can't seem to convince him that just won't happen. He doesn't seem to believe me. He just complains about not having a girlfriend. Well, he could, if he made any effort. Went out to meet girls.
Last but not least, I'll give an example of a guy that I used to know (about a year ago). Right now, he's seeing a girl. Things are going great. They have been seeing each other for about a month so far. Knowing him, I predict that she will break up with him in another one to three months because he is too obsessive. He gets serious too fast. He immediately starts thinking that she is "the one" and he will plan their future and everything. Not everyone wants to move that fast.
To all of these people, they wonder why they can't really find anyone who it works out with. Yet they don't listen to me when I give them answers (or try to help). What do you do? I mean, sure, they will probably all find someone and get married. But I feel like they are just approaching it the wrong way. Eventually (who knows ... maybe ten or twenty years!) they will get married. Great. But for now, they are going through this heart break and sadness. Because they want Prince Charming. Or "the one". And maybe he / she is not going to just exist.
What are your opinions on "Prince Charming" or "the one"? Are you searching for him/her? Do you have any friends who have an "odd" way off attempting to find this person? It is something that most young adults go through ... but everyone feels it differently.
Great post! I used to be a lot like the second girl you mentioned, but then I went to the other extreme (like the first girl, who got obsessive). It's so true that you need to find a happy medium. I'm not sure I believe that there's only one person out there for you, but I do believe that some people are better suited for each other than others. I am looking for someone, but I am not sitting in my apartment waiting for him to show up. I go out and do my part too. I think everyone goes through this phase...learned about it in my psychology class last semester (intimacy vs. isolation...it's Erikson's theory).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the response! I was a lot like my friends too before. At first, when I was in early high school, I just expected someone to come along and find me. But that doesn't happen often. Then I ended up liking this guy during high school and was rather obsessed! Hah. Glad that's over with!
ReplyDeleteI also agree that there isn't just one person for everyone. There are plenty of people who I'm not compatible with but there has got to be more than one that I can live a happy life with!
I started college again last fall (the one that just went by), and I was living with them then but getting a ride to school with a friend (the guy I went on the date with). But I love living away from them too. While it's not my own place, it's still good to be away and not have them after me all the time either.
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